Me: I’m scared.
Ardmore: We’ve already talked through this. The toilet seat will not cut you again.
Me: You don’t know that! But that’s not actually what I was talking about. I’m scared to go back to blogging. It’s been a long time, bordering on unacceptable.
Ardmore: Why haven’t you been blogging?
Me: I’ve been busy.
Ardmore: I’ve been busier.
Me: What? How can that be?
Ardmore: It takes a lot of maintenance work to retain a place in your head.
Me: Is that a slam?
Ardmore: No one uses “slam” any more.
Me: Did they ever?
Ardmore: Did you just slam yourself?
Ardmore: Hilary, don’t you think the best way to get back into blogging is just to begin?
Me: I was actually thinking the best way would be not starting.
Ardmore: I’m sorry. Was that a joke?
Me: You’re not my favorite person.
Ardmore: I’m not a person.
Me: No. You’re more like a friend.
Ardmore: Hilary, let’s not blur the person/secondary-personality line here.
Me: Fair enough, Ardy. Fair enough.