I was recently having a discussion with FAC + Rob (an honorary member) about the types of people we went to high school with. Because the four of us are from very different parts of the country, we had different groups of students at our schools. (Jill had cowboys. Real cowboys!)
When I did my impression of the kids who rode on my bus, I think the others were more than impressed. I basically said, “Hey, man. NASCAR!” over and over again. (This is disturbingly accurate.)
(I realize this is making fun of those people. I liked pretty much everyone I went to high school with, but those hillbilly kids were mean, if that makes it any better.)
Anyway, after we stopped laughing–I’m exaggerating. No one has to “stop” themselves from laughing at my jokes– Jill asked me, “Hilary, do you watch NASCAR?”
I gasped. NASCAR? Me? HOW COULD SHE?!
“OF COURSE NOT!” I said, “IndyCar is totally different.”
Then the four of us got into a discussion about whether or not IndyCar and NASCAR have differences. I claimed that IndyCar is so much classier (and cooler and better) than NASCAR. No one agreed.
Katie tried to come to my aid (bless her) and said, “IndyCar had that girl, Danica Patrick, didn’t they?”
“No!” I said. “She moved to NASCAR, and IndyCar is better for it!” (Sorry, Danica fans. Although, you’re probably NASCAR fans, so never mind.)
Now, maybe I see the stark differences between NASCAR and IndyCar because I’m from Indiana, where we literally have class projects based on the Indy 500. (See my 5th grade, spray-painted, milk jug race with its egg passenger.)
But I don’t think so. I think IndyCar is genuinely different (and genuinely A LOT BETTER). Let’s look at 5 facts:
When I think about the people racing in NASCAR, it’s Ricky Bobby and bad mustaches and lunch boxes from Walmart with bright numbers painted on the side.
With IndyCar, you get international wonders (see Tony Kanaan), Indiana Jones fans, and etsy t-shirts.
The Daytona 500 ends in champagne being sprayed everywhere. Civilized? I think not.
The Indianapolis 500, aka The Greatest Spectacle in Racing, ends with the winner drinking milk and pouring it over himself. It may be messy, but at least it supports calcium consumption.
Let’s look at these babies.
NASCAR’s cars, i.e. the taxi cabs.
IndyCar’s cars, i.e. artwork.
4. Famous people.
Alyssa Milano plays in a NASCAR fantasy league.
IndyCar owners include Patrick Dempsey and David Letterman. And also Patrick Dempsey. And also Patrick Dempsey.
5. And also Patrick Dempsey.